Now With REAL™ News!
Subscribe
Sign in
Home
Notes
Archive
About
Latest
Top
GUN GANG GROOMERS! FBI Traces Huge Child-Grooming Ring to Firearm Fanatics!
“An enormous child-grooming ring has hidden in plain sight for decades, calling itself the NRA and disguising itself as civic duty,” said Sarah McLeo…
Feb 24, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
GUN GANG GROOMERS! FBI Traces Huge Child-Grooming Ring to Firearm Fanatics!
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
HALF-(M)ASSED! Flagpole Height to be Halved so Flags Fly Proudly While At Half-Mast
Citing the fact that flags at half-mast serve as reminders of our nation’s failed gun laws, congress has passed a bill requiring all flag poles be built…
Feb 17, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
HALF-(M)ASSED! Flagpole Height to be Halved so Flags Fly Proudly While At Half-Mast
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
ONE AND DONE! Dating Show Ends Abruptly — Thanks to Bachelor’s Secret
The reality TV show “This Man is Getting Married” was planned like other dating shows: a single man seeks a wife, reducing a pool of dozens down to one…
Feb 6, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
ONE AND DONE! Dating Show Ends Abruptly — Thanks to Bachelor’s Secret
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
January 2023
IMAGI-RAGE-TION! Conservative Enraged By Thing He Just Made Up
Candidate for School Board, Conrad Erbon, expressed his opposition to a non-existent grade school transgender studies quiz, citing an event that never…
Jan 27, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
IMAGI-RAGE-TION! Conservative Enraged By Thing He Just Made Up
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
SOME EXIT! Self-Described “Free Speech Absolutist” Crushed to Death After False Alarm in Theater
Midway through a showing of the conserva-ganda film ‘My Son Hunter,’ a prankster yelled, “Fire!” This caused the crowd to panic, during which…
Jan 20, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
SOME EXIT! Self-Described “Free Speech Absolutist” Crushed to Death After False Alarm in Theater
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
FABULOUS LOGIC! School Board to Require all Students Dress in Drag!
“The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is to arm everyone. We’re applying that logic toward our goal of stopping the spread of drag queenism,” said…
Jan 13, 2023
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
FABULOUS LOGIC! School Board to Require all Students Dress in Drag!
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
September 2022
NEVER FORGET! Requirement to Think of Someone Besides Oneself Hinders 9-11 Remembrances
Five minutes into a lone vigil, Russ Tillkop’s phone chirped. “Dang! They just deactivated one of the starters on my fantasy football team!"
Sep 9, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
NEVER FORGET! Requirement to Think of Someone Besides Oneself Hinders 9-11 Remembrances
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
August 2022
HEAD OF STATE? Headless Fetus Wins Election, Will be Next Tennessee Governor
“This is a sign!” cried a long-time resident. “Here in Tennessee, soon we’ll have a governor worthy of us!”
Aug 26, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
HEAD OF STATE? Headless Fetus Wins Election, Will be Next Tennessee Governor
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
TOO MUCH BLOOD! Jefferson’s Metaphorical Tree of Liberty Dies from Over-Watering
The ghost of Jefferson appeared. “By thunder!” he yelled. “I was in the land of the dead and I recognized that tree. How much did you feed it?"
Aug 5, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
TOO MUCH BLOOD! Jefferson’s Metaphorical Tree of Liberty Dies from Over-Watering
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
July 2022
OKAY BY U.S.! Many White Americans fine with White Replacement if it Gets Rid of Racist A-holes
"If the Zionists. aliens, lizard people – whoever those clowns think are in charge – want to get rid of some racists then I’m fine with it!"
Jul 29, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
OKAY BY U.S.! Many White Americans fine with White Replacement if it Gets Rid of Racist A-holes
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
NOT THAT EQUAL! Suggestion to Add Financial Equality to Workplace DE&I Results in Disappearance
No one dares speak his or her or their name. It’s as if their colleague simply never existed. “Burn all your notes,” the VP said.
Jul 22, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
NOT THAT EQUAL! Suggestion to Add Financial Equality to Workplace DE&I Results in Disappearance
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
SCOTUS-IZED! Americans Follow Court’s Lead and Randomly Ignore Prior Agreed-Upon Rules
The soccer match took a shocking turn when one of the players picked up the ball with his hands and hurled it into the goal, yelling, “You’ve been…
Jul 9, 2022
•
Citizen Lars aka Larry Nocella
Share this post
SCOTUS-IZED! Americans Follow Court’s Lead and Randomly Ignore Prior Agreed-Upon Rules
nowwithrealnews.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Share
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please
turn on JavaScript
or unblock scripts