Why subscribe to Now With REAL™ News?

It all began when I was in the supermarket searching for my favorite snack: fig newtons. The package featured a colorful burst highlighting the words, “Now with REAL fruit™!”

I thought, “If you have to use a trademark - that little TM symbol - after ‘real fruit’… it’s probably not real.”

That was years ago.

After a while, I got tired of seeing free-range jerks gallivanting across our social landscape, untouched by laws or conscience. I got sick of seeing weapons-grade cruelty rising to offices of high power. I grew frustrated watching jargon, hype, and superficiality rule the day. I seethed at … I can’t remember, but by then I was seething.

After reaching orgasmic crescendo of rage, I laughed at myself. For I am not perfect either. I smoked some dank. I calmed down. After the storm of frustration had passed a shiny awareness remained.

The jerks: we can’t beat ‘em. We’ll never join ‘em. We probably can’t stop ‘em. But we sure can have a laugh at their expense. And everything else. We’re gonna laugh at it all. But mostly we’re going to afflict the comfortable and arm the afflicted with premium quality satirical lampoonage.

We make fun of jerks and jerky behavior, whatever and wherever it resides. They can escape the law, they can try to pretend their wonderful. But we know the truth, and they will not escape us.

If you’re on board, subscribe. Subscription is FREE!

Hope you enjoy the craziness of Now With REAL™ News. Thank you so much for trying us out. We love you. And by we I mean me. Me love you.

Larry Nocella

NowWithRealNews@LarryNocella.com

editor of Now With REAL News.

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Satire so wicked and smart it's sexy! Afflicting the comfortable and arming the afflicted with premium-grade smart-assery. We may be doomed, but we can still laugh. Join us. We're having fun! It’s not news. It’s News™.

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Writer. Citizen. Weird but friendly. Larry Nocella = Citizen Lars = TikTok's @Scooter_Bae